The beginning of a new year sees many searching to find that better version of themselves. But this year, I’m taking a different approach. My only goal is to give away goals and get further in touch with who I really am. It would be fair to say that goal setting and I parted ways many years ago when I realized that they came with the companions of striving, driving, attachment and stress. I had fallen into the trap of trying to add more each year. More holidays, more success, more time and more health. And then I asked myself the question that changed everything …
Many of us are right in the middle of the “Christmas rush”: meetings, catch-up coffees, deadlines, “I need to talk” phone calls. And then there’s the personal stuff: shopping for presents, getting the car serviced, sorting out holidays, family gatherings, friend gatherings. While it’s supposed to be a time of celebration and joy, many people also experience pressure and stress. So here are six tips to help you stress less, and slide through the season with a clear mind.
Attention is not measured by seconds, minutes, hours or days, it is measured by fullness. A moment of clear full attention given generously without condition, will connect, nourish and transform. But as long as you hold on to time as your measure, these moments of full attention are delayed until “the time is right”. You don’t need to wait until the weekend, an annual conference, a birthday, or other special event to give this most precious and life-changing gift.
There are many special memories that come with being a parent. The first time your baby walks, talks, laughs, goes to school. In fact every “first” is something you want to capture and bottle forever. But a few years ago I learnt a valuable lesson about capturing memories. I remember it like it was yesterday. Rushing into my daughter’s first kindergarten recital with similar excitement I had at a Robbie William’s concert decades before. The performance began and within a few minutes I reached for my mobile phone and began filming. I don’t know why I did it. Perhaps I was following other parents, momentarily unsure of what to do. Or maybe I had the FOMM (fear of missing a memory) and thought if I didn’t have it recorded, something might be lost.
A Gallup survey reveals that an employee’s level of engagement drops significantly if the leader focuses on the employee’s weaknesses rather than their strengths. But the more surprising finding was the dramatic doubling of disengagement when an employee is ignored. Engagement, the extent to which an employee feels connected to their leader and their workplace, is almost impossible to achieve in the face of neglect.